For those who have recently gone through a divorce, the holidays can feel especially isolating. Traditional celebrations may trigger feelings of loss and loneliness.
But singles can transform this season into a time of renewal and reconnection. Here are a few easy strategies for finding community and companionship during the holidays.
Recognize Your Feelings
Even the most amicable divorces can hit new singles hard during the holidays. The parties, traditions, and connections that once defined the season have suddenly disappeared. There is one less family to spend time with. You may or may not have the kids over the holidays. Mutual friends are often scattered after divorce.
Don’t expect anything to feel normal, and don’t pretend that it does. Expect the unexpected regarding your mental health during the holidays. Know that your feelings may be unpredictable, that things may not be okay, and that this is completely normal. When you feel a wave of anger or sadness, think, “Ah, here it is.” Recognizing these feelings allows you to move through them and move forward in a healthy, productive way.
Reconnect With Friends and Family
A simple way to combat loneliness is to reach out to friends and family. Many partners have less time during marriage to spend with old friends or family members, so it’s easy to lose touch. Don’t hesitate to go back and rekindle those relationships. While it may feel daunting to reach out, you may be surprised how many people are seeking the same support.
- Utilize Technology: Reconnect through social media. Send a DM. Set up a quick video call to bridge the gap if physical meetups aren’t possible. Nervous about a one-on-one reconnection? Schedule a virtual gathering and invite a handful of distant friends and family.
- Express Your Feelings: Don’t pretend things are great if they aren’t. More than likely, everyone is going through a rough patch during the holidays. Share your experiences. Opening up about your situation helps create new bonds and allows others to support you (and vice versa) more effectively.
- Create a Holiday Plan: Whether it’s hosting a dinner, going to the ballet, or organizing a virtual movie night, get out your calendar and make some plans. A holiday schedule not only keeps your mind occupied but also helps to nourish new social connections.
Join Support Groups
Various support groups are available for those navigating divorce. These groups offer a valuable space to share experiences and gain valuable insights. Here’s how to find the right fit for you:
- Look Locally: Check with your religious organization or do an online search for local community centers or counseling services that host groups specifically for individuals dealing with divorce.
- Online Options: If in-person meetings aren’t your thing, consider joining online divorce support groups. Explore Facebook groups, chat groups, and DivorceCare.org. Be sure to review the group’s policies and professional affiliations. If possible, read reviews on the group or check with members before joining to ensure you will feel comfortable participating.
Engage in Social Activities
Community activities offer a fast way to meet new people and build connections. Do an online search and sign up for some local or virtual activities.
- Holiday Events: Check local listings for holiday markets, concerts, or festivals. Get out and enjoy yourself, even if you go alone. Attending holiday events is a great way to occupy your time and provides opportunities to meet others.
- Classes and Workshops: Consider enrolling in classes that interest you, such as cooking, art, or fitness. Shared interests can spark friendships and create a supportive community.
Get Into Volunteering
One of the most fulfilling ways to combat holiday loneliness is to offer help and support to others. Volunteering creates a sense of purpose and connection. Here are some ideas:
- Find a Cause You’re Passionate About: Identify organizations that resonate with you. This could be an animal shelter, local food bank, or community center. Volunteering for a cause that means something to you can boost your sense of fulfillment and help you connect with like-minded individuals.
- Engage in Group Volunteer Activities: Many organizations host group volunteer events during the holidays, like meal distributions or toy drives. Joining in these activities can foster a sense of camaraderie and introduce you to new people.
- Share Your Skills: If you have a special talent or skill set, consider offering your services to local nonprofits. Whether it’s tutoring, crafting, or professional expertise, sharing your abilities can be a great way to meet others while making a positive impact.
Build New Friendships
When married, it’s easy to forget how to meet new people. Marriage can sequester us into a small bubble of friends and family. But remember, we all have had to meet new people throughout our lives—whether in school or on the job or through hobbies. You can do it!
The holidays happen to be an excellent time to build new friendships. Here are some tips on cultivating meaningful connections:
- Attend Meetup Events: Websites and apps like Meetup can help you find local people who share your interests, whether it’s hiking, book clubs, or movie nights. Joining these groups can provide a public, organized way to meet new people with similar tastes.
- Host Your Own Gathering: Don’t wait for invitations—create your own meetups. Host a potluck or game night. Organize a local group winetasting event. Setting up a group activity focused on your personal interests is an excellent way to meet new people looking for a similar crew of friends.
- Use Social Media: Social media platforms are powerful tools for meeting new people who share your interests. Consider joining groups where you can ask for recommendations. Engage with others’ content. Like posts and follow accounts of people you want to get to know. Today, many friends and connections are made via social media.
Practice Self-Compassion
Be gentle with yourself as you move through the holidays post-divorce. It’s essential to maintain a conscious awareness of your mental state and respond to any changes in energy levels or mood with grace. Allow yourself to take breaks and feel your emotions. Here are some strategies for practicing self-compassion:
- Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that it’s okay to feel tired, depressed, or overwhelmed during this time. Set realistic expectations for yourself to help alleviate pressure. If you’re not feeling up to attending the office holiday party, don’t go. Prioritize what feels right for you.
- Experience the Now: Meditation, prayer, journaling, and breathing exercises are great ways to help you stay grounded. Take time to experience your environment and appreciate your home and health. Taking an inventory of all the good things in your life can provide prospective and emotional relief.
- Ask For Help: If feelings of loneliness or despair become overwhelming, consider seeking support from a therapist. Professional sessions with a counselor can provide a safe space for you to work through your emotions and learn valuable coping strategies.
Ultimately, the holidays after a divorce are tough, but they also present an opportunity for growth. By reaching out to friends and family, engaging in community activities, volunteering, and building new friendships, you can build a solid network that enriches your life.
Embrace the chance to redefine your holiday experience. Focus on what brings you joy and connection. Remember, you are not alone. Communities are waiting to welcome you. With a bit of time and effort, you can find your place in this new chapter.